A Rant that Resulted in a Fat Cheek

Yesterday evening I caught myself getting frustrated and agitated while reading BuJo themed blogs. It was very familiar to that pesky feeling one might sometimes get when someone is wrong on the Internet, only in my case it was a lot worse than that, because there’s no wrong or right when it comes to keeping personal Bullet Journals. My annoyance was so noticeable that it made me pause so that I could figure it out. Why on earth was I being so negative?

As I sat there analyzing the situation, I came to a number of conclusions:
1) I wasn’t finding any useful or interesting information in this collection of blogs
2) I was clearly wasting time instead of doing something productive
3) I was very tired and therefore cranky

Admittedly, I did have to take a few steps back from “This person is a pompous idiot who very clearly isn’t as good as they present themselves to be”, which I find to be one of the more curious emotions to understand. Am I being envious? Why is this upsetting me? What possible effect can this person’s ineptitude have on me? What’s the real problem here? Oh boy I could bring up examples and go on and on but I wanted to write about a new idea I had instead.

So having figured out that I was simply knackered and moody because I was reading blogs late at night instead of sleeping (or animating) I started wondering why I was so tired yet unable to fall asleep. Looking at my Bullet Journal weekly spreads I saw why. I was trying to do too many things all at the same time and stressing out from all this self-inflicted pressure. I’m chasing freelance work instead of working on Boonka. I’m frantically looking for ways to make money from home with the couple of free hours I can snatch a day, while trying to fill these same hours with productive activities like sport, art studies, animation practise and handcrafting. All these things just don’t add up very well.
I need to chill.

One way of chilling for me is painting something, slowly and deliberatly. I suck at painting. Things I paint end up looking like poop. And yes, I’m being very serious with this comparison – my paintings end up looking extremely brown. I’d show you the last painting I made for a friend (I hope he burned it) but it’s way too embarassing, and coming from this blog that’s saying something. Having clarified all that, I really enjoy the process of putting paint onto stuff, as long as I don’t have to look at the results too often afterwards (which is why my entire nursery-painting adventure was quite risky).

So I decided to combine my curiousity about the paint holding capabilities of my lovely journal, my desire to not let my shiny paints dry up, and my need to pour my stress out into something creative.

What’s the big deal though? I paint stuff with watercolours here all the time! Aaah, but these are acrylics, you see, a whole new world!
Behold, my Doodle Therapy spread (and Eli’s discovery of painting with water on markers):


The paper is holding out just fine, so far (I’m barely using any water), and I’ll be filling this page for the rest of the month. The big pink face might get its cheeks fixed. Or not! Oh the excitement!

This was a long rant. Thank you if you made it this far.
What’s another good way of dealing with someone being wrong on the Internet that doesn’t require an army of poop flinging monkeys? (Ooooh, I could probably draw that pretty well, much brown!)

4 thoughts on “A Rant that Resulted in a Fat Cheek

  • I did make it this far! And I do know the feeling! That’s so well-defined – “self-inflicted pressure”! That’s why I stopped using Habitica. It was too much for me. I can give you no better advice though than what you already said – “to chill”… At the end of the day, we do it for ourselves, no one is really pushing us… Which is why it makes things so much worse! It’s just us and our time and what we do with it, that’s all we have!!! Ahhh, instead of encouraging I seem to be getting to the other pole… don’t listen to me! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehe 🙂 I actually gave Habitica a go after you mentioned it, but I found myself fluffing up the tasks to get more points for things I was already doing with the bullet journal, which seemed counterproductive 😛 felt I was wasting time writing and marking the same thing twice in different places.

      Liked by 1 person

  • Self inflicted pressure is definitely the worst. Its good that you were able to catch yourself before someone on the internet made you too angry though, arguments online and in comment sections are all too frequent and do little to no good to anyone involved (although sometimes humorous as a spectator).

    I’m not even sure what a bullet journal is, but it sounds intense. 😉

    As for painting w acrylics, I’ve been using mine like watercolors so far and just slowly building up w them… Although admittedly I’m just to afraid to lose my line work. XD

    Whatever you do, just make sure you’re enjoying yourself and the journey and if you learn along the way… all is well in the universe.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I’ve used acrylics like watercolours before as well, I really enjoy painting like that, but I’m trying to avoid using too much water and wrecking the paper, as it’s too thin for watercolours.
      I’ve written a little explanation on what Bullet Journals are (and no, there’s no actual shooting, normally) here: https://rediskot.wordpress.com/2017/01/16/thoughts-on-bullet-journals/#more-3750
      I’ve recently changed my outlook on arguments in general, through some pretty interesting reading (sadly in russian, or I’d spam you with more links :D), so it’s pretty easy to stop myself before I start typing, usually. Now to master catching myself before opening my mouth in real time conversations 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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